Fangirl Invasion

Story Title: Fangirl Invasion
Author: tashiichaan
Type: One-shot
Genre: Crack fangirl humour xD
Length: 2,465 words
Summary: Arashi is just about to shoot their new PV, but their director barges into their dressing room with a last-minute change of script and three new actresses starring in their PV. Unknowingly to the annoyed members of Arashi, these girls aren’t just unknown, fresh-faced actresses…
Comments: This fanfic was written while I was high on Arashi flailing and probably sugar xD It’s seriously crack, but I enjoyed writing every part of it because I hardly write humour (I’m a sad sad person loool). I do not want to comment on the original characters because it’s embarrassing amusing how insane I can get. It’s the sugar. SUGAR I TELL YA.

To understand the conversations better:
English words that are italicised - are spoken in English
Japanese words that are italicised - are spoken in Japanese
Normal English words – are spoken in Japanese

Dictionary Corner:
Watashi wa Reiji desu – I’m Reiji
Hajimemashite – Nice to meet you (usually spoken during first meetings)
Nihongo – Japanese (the language)
Gomenasai – I’m sorry (polite version)
Kawaii – cute (I just had to translate this xD)
Baka – idiot (unnecessary, but yet xD)
Moshi moshi – Hello (only used when speaking into the phone)

- – - – - -

Fangirl Invasion

“You can’t be serious?”

Nino’s words rang out across the dressing room as the rest of Arashi stared in disbelief at their promotional video director. The director, Ouyama-san, could only give them apologetic smiles as he cowered behind three clearly-infatuated girls who had just been announced as impromptu actresses in Arashi’s latest PV.

“I assure you, these girls have been thoroughly checked and do not possess any items that are harmful, in any way,” Ouyama-san said rather uncertainly.

Jun immediately jumped to a sharp retort, “But, Ouyama-san, you know they don’t have any roles that are even written in the original script,” he glanced at the others to back him up, but they were too lost for words so he continued in mild anger, “I doubt they’re professional actors. And who are they again?”

“Your manager’s wife’s niece, and her friends, who’re from Southeast Asia and Europe,” Ouyama-san informed them quickly. He was apprehensive at Arashi’s strong refusal to accept the girls, because he too wasn’t convinced about the sudden addition to the cast.

“Manager-san’s niece?! He should know very well not to pick girls without any acting skills, or worse, fangirls,” Sho argued, and was fidgeting nervously under the piercing stares from two of the girls, “And we only have half an hour ‘til shooting. What do you have to say about this, Ouyama-san?”

“Kitagawa-san was firm on including a few female counterparts in the PV, and due to time constraint, your manager brought in these girls. Kitagawa-san approves of them, by the way,” Ouyama-san added, a little louder and his chin stuck up high.

This time, none of Arashi refuted to the director. Any word given directly by the single’s Executive Producer and founder of Johnny’s Entertainment had to be obeyed. Without further arguments.

But most importantly, and most confusing: why hadn’t it occurred to Kitagawa-san that obsessive fangirls aren’t allowed in such near proximity to their idols? It was mostly due to that fact which confused everyone.

Ouyama-san sighed in relief at the silence. The lack of further arguments by Arashi would seal the girls’ acceptance, and he would certainly get this damn PV done and over with in a day. Happily he patted the girls on their shoulders and grinned brightly at the rest, “Now, read your newly-edited scripts and memorise them. I’ll see you all at the main studio hall in a while!” And before could say ‘No!’, Ouyama-san had left the room and the door clicked close behind him.

“Manager-san, really…” Sho muttered in frustration, picking up one of the edited scripts left on the table.

“Ano…” one of the girls started. All of them snapped their heads up and stared in direction of the girls. The three girls looked at each other in uncertainty, and then the girl in the middle – the tallest – moved up front and bowed a formal Japanese greeting.

“Watashi wa Reiji desu! Hajimemashite!” she greeted with a foreign accent.

With dreamy eyes not letting go the sight of Sho, the other girl, Tashii, promptly walked right up to Sho and gushed out loud, “Sho-chan, I can’t speak Japanese well but I’m a big fan of yours and I’ve always loved your voice I hope you’re not mad at us being in your PV we really really wanted to meet Arashi in person can I have your autograph please?”

Tashii spoke so fast that even with fluency in English, Sho couldn’t catch her words. He just stood, transfixed and speechless (and rather afraid of her, if he might add), while Tashii smiled stupidly at him. However, an unamused Pairu dragged her back to their original spot and snapped quietly into her ear, “Tashii-chan, I know you want to get your hands on Sho-chan, but please, don’t embarrass yourself before you could even introduce your name!”

“Ne… you speak Japanese?” Aiba asked in his heavily-accented voice.

“Nihongo… a little,” Pairu said in a surprisingly calm voice, although her sweaty palms said otherwise. That was mostly due to the fact her sexy idol Sho was only 3 metres away.

“I think it’s odd that Johnny-san suddenly comes up with these girls,” Nino wondered aloud, looking around to Ohno questioningly.

“Maybe he wants to murder us with these fangirls,” Jun suggested, very softly and quietly in case any of the girls understood Japanese. Fortunately, it’s a no in that department.

“Matsujun, don’t be silly!” Aiba said sternly to him, “These girls aren’t going to kill any of us. They’re just here to join us in our PV, ne?” He cast a friendly smile to the girls, who, in turn grinned back a little dreamily.

“Sho-kun,” Ohno turned to the contemplative guy by the table, “Why don’t you ask them the details about this recent casting?” He gestured at the girls, still rooted to the spot.

Sho hesitated a little, but finally turned to the girls. “Do you know anything about our manager’s decision, in including you in our PV?” he asked diplomatically.

“Well…” Pairu started. She, along with her friends, were sworn – over their shopping wealth and Arashi fandom – to secrecy by her uncle and Kitagawa-san. They made them promise to say nothing about how or what, but all they had to do was act and nothing else. Although, Pairu thought cunningly, their word wasn’t bound by any contract.

Pairu didn’t finish her sentence. She was saved by Tashii’s sudden exclaim of a loud, “Oh!”. Bewildered, Pairu looked at her friend, who had darted for the dressing room door.

“What the…”

A loud bark greeted them on the other side of the door. Tashii opened the door, and an exuberant Golden Retriever trotted into the room, its leash handed to Tashii’s waiting hand.

“Good boy, behave now!” Tashii warned the dog, bending down so she was level with the dog and released his leash.

Aiba’s face immediately lit up at the dog’s arrival and confidently walked over to Tashii and the dog. He patted the dog and ran his hands over its sleek, golden fur as he grinned to Tashii. “Name…?”

“Momo,” Tashii happily replied, “I’m sorry I had to bring him here… Gomenasai!” She bowed her head in apology.

“O-kay! O-kay!” Aiba chirped back in his broken English, his eyes twinkling as he started calling out some tricks to Momo, who, of course, grinned back at Aiba without any comprehension.

“Err, I think we should practise our lines,” Reiji suggested to the rest, trying to distract everyone from Aiba and Momo’s unexpected bonding. However, that was unsuccessful as Aiba was playing noisily with Momo, and the dog was getting on sugar-high.

“Jump! Momo, jump!” Aiba encouraged, clapping his hands as Momo barked happily. Tashii, taking this opportunity to stand as close possible to Aiba, called out the instructions to Momo in English.

“What’s that idiot doing, knowing we’ve got a 7-page script to memorise in 30 minutes?” Sho whined in annoyance.

Jun rolled his eyes at his best friend. “You know how he is with animals -”

WHAM!

A loud noise screeched throughout the room as the door of the dressing room had been slammed shut, thrown by the force of Aiba doubling over from Momo’s messy licks.

“Aaah… stop it, Momo… it… tickles!” Aiba stammered in between hysterical laughs.

“Kawaii…” Pairu couldn’t help but gush at Aiba’s affections for Momo. She glanced at Reiji, who thought likewise and was on the verge of running over to hug Aiba because he was just too adorable.

“…Baka,” Nino cursed loudly, “I’m going to get a drink.”

Briefly acknowledging the presence of the girls, he went over to the door and unkindly kicking Aiba in the buttocks before trying to open the door. However, the door didn’t budge. The doorknob wouldn’t turn.

“Eh…? This door wouldn’t open.” Nino tried turning the doorknob several times, even trying to yank the door open, but still the door refused to unlock or open.

“Nino-chan, if you want to go out, make it quick!” Aiba pleaded to Nino.

“The door’s broken and we’re locked inside,” Nino replied nonchalantly, pointing at the stubborn door.

“WHAT?!” The remaining occupants yelled out. In a second everyone crowded around the innocently-stationary door, trying all means possible to open the door.

“It’s the dog!” Jun concluded of the culprit behind the locked door, glaring at a cheerful Momo, “He threw himself at the door and now it won’t open!”

Tashii, picking up the idea that Jun was cursing the dog, jumped to Momo’s defence and stuck her nose up to him, “Don’t say that to Momo!”

Reiji lightly slapped Tashii’s arm and reprimanded her, “Don’t yell at Jun-kun, Tashii-chan!”

“Jun-kun?” Jun questioned, cocking his eyebrow at Reiji.

Reiji blushed furiously and slipped behind Tashii without another word.

“I heard this part of the studio is quite old,” Sho noted, “And right at the corner of the studio where hardly anyone comes by…” His eyes widened at the sudden understanding of their situation. He looked around at the rest with shocked eyes, and everyone went into a frenzy of banging the door and yelling for help.

“Geez, you idiots! Don’t you use your cellphones for better reasons?!” Nino pointed out exasperatedly, already whipping out his LG phone and punching in Ouyama-san’s number. “Moshi moshi? Ouyama-san! WE’RE STUCK IN OUR DRESSING ROOM HEEEEEELP!” With a confused look, Nino pulled the earpiece away and stared at the screen blankly.

“What is it?” Ohno asked.

Nino looked at everyone and with a straight face, said quietly “…the phone ran out of battery.” In return, Nino received numerous well-deserved slaps on his head. While he was cursing under his breath and massaging his head, five different cellphones were already dialling several potential lifesavers.

“Moshi moshi? Uncle? Listen, Arashi and the girls and I are stuck in the dressing room in the studio. YOU HAVE TO SAVE US BECAUSE I THINK ARASHI IS GOING TO KILL MOMO!” Pairu practically shrieked into the phone.

“Actually, I find it quite interesting now that we’re stuck here with the Arashi…” Reiji whispered excitedly into Pairu’s ear. Tashii, who heard it, nodded with that same dreamy look in her face again.

Sho stared at Pairu and retorted indignantly, “We won’t kill Momo. We’re just not having a good day and it keeps getting worse. I hope you don’t take this personally.”

Like Reiji, Pairu blushed a shade darker. She spoke quieter into the phone now, and then with a goodbye she flipped her phone shut. “Your manager is notified. He said he’ll inform Ouyama-san of our situation and help will come!”

Sho translated this to the rest, who then sighed in relief. With the assurance that they weren’t goners, they returned to their scripts and continued reading it. Aiba, on the other hand, had another plan in mind. He opened up a board game on the table where everyone’s sitting on, and grinned.

“Aiba-kun… not your crack board game again?!” Nino exclaimed, throwing daggers at the standing figure.

“Ne… why not? You guys don’t like my board game, so I’ll play with the girls!” Aiba replied in his high-pitched voice, a clear indication that he just getting started in the crazy hormonal ride of Aiba Masaki’s excitement.

Aiba gestured the girls to come over. The girls took one look at the board game set up, and it dawned on them. Eagerly, their scripts lay forgotten by the other table as they scooted over and started rambling in English to a confused Aiba.

“You can’t be serious!” Sho said loudly, looking slightly irritated, “What about the scripts -”

Jun stood up and looked at Aiba with a challenging look. “How about we play a pairs team this time? Since there’re eight of us here.”

Aiba grinned. “Great idea!” He then turned to the girls, scratching his head in searching the right English word to translate to. But the girls understood (well, Pairu told them Jun said something about ‘couple’ and ‘eight of us’), and Reiji was already taking her place with Jun.

“Jun-kun and Reiji… okay?” Reiji asked a little uncertainly at Jun.

Jun made a face and pointed at Ohno. “I… want with Riida!” He stepped closer to Ohno, but then Nino glared at him and pulled Ohno closer.

“Oh-chan and I are a team,” Nino said firmly.

“Jun-kun and Reiji-chan is the 2nd team then!” Aiba decided, and wrote down their names on a paper tag. He then turned to Sho, who was still adamant that he didn’t participate. “Sho-chan, come on! Play with us!”

“It’ll be fun,” Pairu half-pleaded Sho with hopeful eyes.

Sho took one look at Jun and Reiji conversing in awkward English, probably scheming up a plan together. He sighed loudly, then closed his script and got onto his feet. “I guess I don’t have a choice. This girl and I will pair up,” he agreed, standing next to Pairu.

Pairu grinned madly. “You can call me Pairu,” she corrected, not caring that her voice had gone high-pitched and her Japanese was completely off.

Sho returned a slightly warm smile and nodded. Aiba scribbled their names on another tag and with a satisfied smile, took another tag and turned to Tashii. “Me, and Tashii-chan?”

“Hai! Momo too!” she added with a cheeky gleam.

The first dice rolled and the crazy game began.

~

After an hour or so of unscrewing each of the screw of the hinges of the door, the repairmen had finally pulled the door off the hinges and carried it aside. Through the now-unveiled entrance, the sight that greeted them was one totally unexpected as the crew stared in shock.

Ohno and Nino’s hair was completely covered in rainbow-coloured hairpins and tied with into two baby pigtails. Aiba and Tashii had dark marker pen-drawn marks around their nostrils and drawn eyelashes above their eyes. Sho had his both arms tied to Pairu’s leg, and his position was very suggestive. Jun and Reiji had it off worse – had hair clips in their hair, marker pen marks on their faces, and they noses and lips were red and swollen, from curry.

“Wha… what is this?” Ouyama stammered in shock.

“We were playing, Ouyama-san,” Aiba so helpfully filled him in.

Ouyama-san just shook his head madly in disbelief, and hurriedly shooed the evidently amused crowd away from the hallway. Before going off, he yelled back at the dressing room, “In the studio! Five minutes! Or else!”

With a triumphant grin, Sho looked up at everyone from beside Pairu’s leg. “Looks like Pairu and I are the winner. We’re the closest to the goal.”

“Whatever, Sho-san, we’ve got a PV to shoot now,” Nino pointed out. With a knowing smile shared among Arashi, and the addition of the girls they gradually opened up to, they went to clean up and got ready for one crazy fun-filled PV to shoot.

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