Dimmed Lanterns [one-shot]

Wrote this out of nowhere because I was bored and kind of frustrated with a lot of things, while also listening to a song on loop. This one-shot is based on a Wang Lee Hom song, and if you’re familiar with him (who is just yummy and hawt), try and guess what song this is XD

This one-shot doesn’t imply the names of the characters, so you may assume any of the Arashi boys as the main guy with the random girl to suit your imagination. Also, I wrote this on impulse – meaning it’s the unadulterated, unedited version, so gomen for any mistakes!

WARNING: This one-shot contains lemon. Not very detailed, but nevertheless it’s not suitable for anyone who feels that it’ll taint your innocent mind forever. Read on at your own risk!

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Dimmed Lanterns

It was a mistake to go to that flower field that night.

I was unaware; I was numbed of all senses; I was in a drunken stupor after spending hours and hours at the bar and downing shots of vodka, hoping to mend the broken and stilted heart. I wasn’t going to go back until I was sure I was drunk beyond the brink of no return.

Blurrily, I was constantly glancing at the vibrating mobile phone I held in my hand. Why wouldn’t you stop calling me? You said you had enough. You said you couldn’t stand it any longer. I accepted it and took a step away from the circle of companionship we formed so long ago. Why did you still have to appear in my life?

Why did you have to lure me to that flower field?

That force I felt, the magnetic attraction that was pulling me to that all-too-familiar trail into the forest, it was undeniable. It was as if, while I was staggering drunkenly through the dark forest, with only moonlight and crickets guiding me, something unconscious inside me knew that you would be there. At the flower field – our secret sanctuary, waiting for me.

And it was there, while standing at the edge of the wind-blown field of dahlias, the flames in the pits of my heart was ablaze with fury as I gazed at you. Then you turned around and stared straight at me, as thought the breeze blew the scent of my presence towards you. In those fiery eyes of yours, you beckoned me with a hand held out vulnerably.

You were calling me. I went to you.

“I was hoping you’d come,” you murmured as I got nearer. “Were you drinking?”

“What do you want?” I demanded, ignoring your question.

With pained eyes, you looked away and gazed afar at the vast lake beside the field. “Don’t you remember what this place means to us? This is our haven – it holds an important part of our memories and our love,” you said.

“There’s no love,” I growled, wavering lightly in drunkenness, “you took it all away and left me to pack up. Don’t you remember that? Now tell me, what do you want? If you’re going to drag—”

“You,” you whispered. You looked back at me with pleading eyes and edged closer. “I want you.”

“Should’ve made up your mind. You’re wasting my time here,” I retorted, and with disgust I spun around and began to walk away. But I felt you throw yourself at my back and wrap your arms around my waist.

“I want you back,” you cried, sobbing into the back of my shirt, “you are always the only one I ever want. I was wrong to let you go…”

Those amber flames inside me crackled wildly. I was struggling hard to stay composed, and so I closed my eyes. “Why’re you doing this?” I murmured angrily, “why now?”

“Please,” you begged, “stay.”

Without releasing my waist, you spun me around and turned your tearful face up to me. You cupped my cheek, and whispered again, “Please stay…”

Your warm touch on my skin, your body pressing so closely against mine and exuding shivering heat, I shivered with wild desire that grew beyond my sober control. Infused with drunkenness and ravishing crave, I kissed you fully. Our lips fell into an urgent rhythm, our mouths opened and heavy with passion, our hot breaths merged. I clung onto you, pressing the back of your head closer to me as our lips went into a fiery duel. I was starting to get dazed.

You then pushed me backwards, with you guiding me until we reached a woolen blanket that was already spread out on the grass. Without needing any prodding, I laid you down impatiently on the blanket and kneeled on all fours over you, and before I knew it, you had ripped off both of our clothes. With the pale moonlight glimmering on us, the cool air kissing our hot, naked skin, the gentle melody of noisy crickets and rippling waters combined with our echoing cries, we made urgent love tinged with wanton passion that was lost between us for so long. At that time, all the overwhelming love I had for you all these years fired up and overcame my shuddering body.

We both fell asleep wrapped in each other. We had done it: the damage was done and was irreversible. It was a grave mistake made in that flower field.

Right before dawn, I woke up from my slumber with the sensation of soft, butterfly kisses tickling the base of my neck and my chest. Sleepily I lowered my chin and saw you press your lips all over my skin. You then noticed I was watching you, and you looked up with a smile. “I miss the feel of your body,” you cooed.

You reached up and kissed me tenderly on the lips. For a while I crumbled under your light kisses and enveloped you in a possessive hug, but then I remembered last night: both of us in the field, our argument, the ensuing love we made out of wild abandon, and I became overridden with pain and remorse. I pushed you away.

“What?” you asked in confusion.

“We shouldn’t have done it,” I whispered, “I was drunk.”

Guiltlessly you continued to kiss me and said, “It was done out of love. You and I can’t deny it.”

“No, you did it out of love. I made a mistake coming here,” I cursed, closing my eyes in hopes the guilt I felt would stop gnawing my insides. “By doing this, you’re betraying Yuri, and I’m betraying my better judgment.”

“Please, don’t leave me!” you gasped, and clung onto me. “I need you!”

“No you don’t,” I said in a final tone. I gently push you away and got onto my feet to put on my pants and my shirt, whilst you sat up and looked at me helplessly.

“Stop crying,” I muttered, “I can’t be the one to wipe your tears. Not this time. We ended long ago, and we never had a chance to reconcile. You’re being selfish and inconsiderate of the people around you, especially the person who loves you. And for everyone’s sake, we will not talk about what happened last night. We’ll forget it and act like nothing happened.”

Sobbing uncontrollably, you wrapped your arms around yourself and nodded silently. I stood above you helplessly, feeling so angry at myself for succumbing to my inner desire. Biting my lip, I grabbed your scattered clothes and handed them to you. “Get dressed, I’ll bring you home,” I sighed.

It was a mistake that was made at the flower field; a mistake that we would have to live with in secrecy.

~