Mercurial Dreams – Chapter Fifteen

Author: tashiichaan
Rating: T
Genre: Romance, angst, humour
Featuring: Sakurai Sho
Banner designed by: tashiichaan
Story Summary: Hiroki never holds expectations for anything. She never expected to be promoted just 6 months into her job; she never expected her housemate to be a little more sane; but of all those damned unexpectations, she didn’t expect to find herself drawn into the life of Sakurai Sho. She didn’t expect to fall in love with him. And it all starts with a can of Coke.

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Mercurial Dreams
Chapter Fifteen

Later that same day, Arashi proceeded to a studio for a Myojo magazine photoshoot. The latest issue’s theme was summer, so the set was moved outdoors and the boys gathered outside in their Hawaiian beach shorts and beach balls and posed for numerous shots. Their PR agent was not skulking around, however, because she stayed inside in the studio, specifically in Arashi’s dressing room, lying face down on the sofa and moaning inaudible words.

With wobbly hands, she massaged her head to soothe the splitting headache, but the sharp pounding continued to rip her head apart. Moreover, she was exhausted to the very bone, having been forced to attend a small celebration by Ichida in events of her first successful conference. She politely refused the sake, but Ichida, blissfully unaware of the perverse outcome to a drunken activity the night before, insisted Hiroki had at least a cup. That made her feel even worse than ever.

She heard noisy chatters and footsteps outside the door rise in a crescendo, and in the next second, the door opened and Sho, Nino and Jun filed in. It took them a while to notice the limp figure lying unsuspicious on the sofa, and when Nino pointed it out, the chatters died down and they scrambled to Hiroki.

“Hiroki, daijoubu ka?” Jun asked, shaking her shoulder frantically.

With his strong arms, Sho turned Hiroki around and lifted her up to a sitting position. Her eyes were half-closed in stupefaction, and gruffly she whimpered, “Painkillers ran out… pain’s back…”

They exhaled in relief. “We thought you’d fainted!” Nino exclaimed.

“You shouldn’t drink so much next time,” Sho berated, sitting down and massaging her head tenderly.

Hiroki snorted. “There’s no next time… I’m never… drinking… again…” This made the three men chuckle faintly, that even Hiroki managed a small smile.

“What you need,” Sho remarked thoughtfully, “is a banana milkshake.”

Jun groaned and leveled an exasperated stare at Sho. “Sakurai okaa-san, we don’t need another one of your remedies…”

“What’s wrong with my remedies?” Sho narrowed his eyes. “If I recall correctly, I got you sober and cured your hangover a number of times with the very same banana milkshake.”

“And it’s tasty, even with a zest of honey,” Nino added with a dreamy sparkle in his eyes.

“Sounds delicious…” Hiroki mumbled, and cast a longing look at Sho. In succession, Sho looked at Jun, who then looked at Nino, and Nino glanced at everyone in confusion.

“What?” Nino asked so very innocently.

Sho looked at Hiroki distractedly and excused himself. “I’m here to accompany Hiroki,” he nodded grimly. Hiroki felt a faint flutter of joy in her stomach.

Jun smirked and fingered the collar of his pink floral shirt delicately (which he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing if it weren’t for the damned stylists wrestling him to put it on), “Well, someone’s got to fetch the milkshake… for Hiroki,” he added, which stopped Nino from arguing any further. Encouraged by his silence, Jun continued, “I think there’s a café across the street, and as a reward, go treat yourself.”

“It’s only a treat when someone buys it,” Nino muttered under his breath. He glared at Jun, who was leaning against the sofa with his hands behind head. “One of these days, you’re going to wake up to find your clothes burnt for fuel, and your jewellery donated for auctioning,” Nino cursed, “In fact during Fukuoka concert, I’m going to push you into a horde of fangirls and let them rape you.”

“Oh, I can handle that last part very well,” Jun refuted smugly. Nino soon left the room, swearing very loudly that he was being extremely serious about calling an auction house.

A crewmember came in and told Jun it was his turn for a solo photoshoot. Before leaving, the crewmember stuck her nose up disapprovingly at Hiroki embraced by Sho, which Jun caught and found it profoundly amusing. With a nod, Jun shooed the crewmember out haughtily and turned back to Sho. “Take good care of her,” he said, and closed the door behind him.

They were alone again.

Silence in the small room was broken with another agonising groan from Hiroki. Before this, with Jun and Nino around, it was easy to put on an indifferent mask and pretend the pain wasn’t bothersome at all, but with Sho alone, she could only crumble down and find it difficult to hide the truth. He always had that power over her: before and now.

The pounding felt as if someone were smashing a hammer on her skull, and it grew more and more harrowing that Hiroki had to draped an arm over her eyes to hide her tears from Sho. But Sho wasn’t stupid: he had noticed. The way Hiroki weakly leaned on his larger frame for support, the way she nestled her head on his shoulder for comfort, the way she edged closer to him in hopes his warmth would numb her pain.

Suddenly it occurred to Sho. “Was that your first time drinking?” he asked.

“Yes…” came the admitting moan. Her fist was balled tightly in her lap, she seemed to be trying very hard to hide the great pain she was experiencing.

Sho sighed, and reached his left hand out to unclench her hand and hold them gently. “You shouldn’t have drunk the beer if you knew you can’t stand alcohol,” he lectured, “You make us all feel terrible for it. Especially Jun. You should’ve seen his face – he’s good at appearing okay and all, but I can tell how guilty he feels.”

“I didn’t want… to turn you guys down…” Suddenly the extreme pounding threw her into spasms of pain, and she clung onto Sho’s shirt, unconsciously digging her nails into his skin. She sniffled, “I’m sorry… I’m just trouble to all of you…”

“Nah, I’m glad, actually, to be able to take care of you,” Sho smiled. He massaged her head, and continued in a lecturing tone, “Just, lay off the alcohol now, and don’t be afraid to say it.”

“I second to that,” Hiroki replied, and Sho chuckled.

Then, an idea struck him.

“Tell me your favourite memory,” he prodded.

Despite the pain, Hiroki managed to arch an eyebrow and peer at him in bewilderment. “What…?”

Sho reddened for a moment and quickly explained, “My mom always did that when I was sick; she said that by thinking about something good, it distracts us from the pain.”

Hiroki was silent, and Sho assumed she didn’t want to play along, when Hiroki suddenly murmured, “It was graduation day at high school. I remember… waking up with this amazing feeling, a feeling that was so empowering, it seem to tell me that today, I would become a free bird and I make my own decision as an adult, y’know…?”

Sho nodded. He understood that feeling, vividly recalling his own graduation from Keio University. He had felt as though a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulder and he was free, a joyous and euphoric feeling mixed with pride for making his family proud. He held her tighter to him, almost as if to tell her, yes, I understand that.

“After the ceremony, my friends and I gathered, and for a moment we didn’t speak. We just… stared at each other, only smiling and holding each other. Poor Yuki, she was crying, too… It was like, no words could describe just how happy we felt. Here we were, enduring three years of high school and always whining about when we could leave… and this was the day. Azuka then said, ‘we’ve grown up, ne’, and that was when I started crying. I had grown up…”

Hiroki’s voice drifted to nothingness, and Sho bent his head to read Hiroki’s expression. His heart lifted at the smile playing on her lips. “That’s a nice memory,” Sho marvelled.

Hiroki nodded. “I feel so much better now. Thank you…” Her smile widened, and in an involuntarily need for comfort, she shyly snuggled up closer to Sho. The close proximity between them caused the heat to rise in Sho’s cheeks and his body went rigid with awkwardness. He found it ironic that he could muster up the courage to give her a kiss earlier that day, but it took just one soft touch to break his bravery into pieces.

“Hiroki, I’ve a question,” Sho said hesitatingly, “It’s kinda personal, actually.”

“Go on.”

“When I was, y’know, taking your clothes off last night…” Sho almost regretted mentioning it, because Hiroki had flung herself away from Sho with an expression of offended horror. “No, no, I’m not implying anything perverted here!” he exclaimed, and quickly he explained, “I saw a scar on your stomach, and it looked… like a really painful one.”

Hiroki averted her gaze, shuddering a little as she unconsciously touched her stomach, just a little to the left of her belly button. “Oh, that…” she muttered, and felt a pang of painful memories flood back in her mind. The scar, a distorted skin darkened with healed slashes, was a remnant of a terrifying memory from her childhood that she had hid it in an unsuspecting corner of her mind. She hadn’t recalled it for so many years now, until Sho mentioned it.

“Got it when I was eleven,” she choked, “A few men broke into our house in the middle of the night. I screamed when they came into my room, and they stabbed me twice, here,” she squeezed her linen shirt which covered the scar. “My parents didn’t survive. Stabbed in the artery and bled to death.”

“My god, Hiroki… I’m so sorry to hear that,” Sho breathed in sympathy. He reached out and clutched her hand to comfort her, and she squeezed it back gratefully. “I’m sorry for mentioning the scar, it must’ve brought back painful memories for you.”

Hiroki shook her head weakly. “Ii yo,” she replied. Her expression was taut, her eyes cast down in heaviness. Evidently she was trying to hold her emotions back; she didn’t want to cry in front of Sho. She had done that before and she hated it when people wallowed in her share of despair.

“I just… don’t really talk about it because I already did it countless times when police interrogated me for the investigation,” she continued, her voice cracking. “I’ve never told this to a lot of people… only people really close to me know. Heck, even my roommate doesn’t know. Only the people I really put my life on have my trust.”

“So… does this mean you trust me?” Sho wondered aloud.

They looked at each other for a moment, trying to search for an honest answer in one another’s hazy eyes. Then Hiroki turned away, and nodded shyly. “I guess…” she admitted in stutters.

Despite the depressed atmosphere around Hiroki, Sho beamed. Judging by the fact that even her roommate didn’t know this dark secret of hers, he concluded that Hiroki was not the sort to trust people easily. And he felt honoured to have achieved Hiroki’s trust and given a glimpse of her past. He felt closer to her than ever.

“Thank you…” Hiroki whispered.

Sho glanced at her in surprise. “For what?”

She looked up at him and smiled. “For listening.”

“Aah… erm… you’re welcome,” Sho replied awkwardly, “Although I can’t say I know how it feels like to lose my parents. My childhood had been… quite normal.” He mentally kicked himself for saying ‘normal’, as though Hiroki’s childhood was nothing less than strange and abnormal. Hiroki raised a question eyebrow, and Sho held his hands out in defence. “I don’t mean it that way,” he said quickly, and as if it would strengthen his word, he stuck his hand into his pocket and took out his wallet, extracting a photograph from the plastic frame inside.

“This is my family,” he grinned with adoration, holding the photograph out to show her.

Hiroki took the photograph and studied the picture. It was the Sakurai family, all five of them: Sho’s mom and dad were sitting on a sofa, an elegant smile on Mrs Sakurai’s pretty face and a thin line on Mr Sakurai’s stern-looking face. Sho stood behind them with his siblings flanking him – his sister who looked slightly younger than Hiroki, and his brother in his junior high uniform. Sho had his arms around his siblings, and they were all grinning broadly. The happiness that exuded from the picture made Hiroki smile.

“You have a really wonderful family,” she commented, “and your mother is really beautiful.”

“I think so too,” Sho laughed, “she’s really an amazing woman. Plus, she makes the best mochi balls ever.”

“Hontou…?”

Sho nodded brightly, his eyes now dreamy with yearning. “Best ever. I’ve no idea what she puts in the filling that makes it so delicious. Aiba claims it’s motherly love.”

Hiroki rounded on him with large eyes. “Even Aiba has tried it?”

“Yeah, along with Jun and Nino and Ohno-kun and even little Chinen-kun. Now that you mention it, there’s no one I know who hasn’t tried my mom’s famous mochi balls…” Then his eyes sparkled a little. The two raven orbs seem to say, except you. “I’ll probably get my mom to make them again for you. They’re especially good during summer, you have to try it!”

“Ehh, you don’t have to, I don’t want to trouble your mom…” Hiroki argued.

Sho waved her away. “Nah, she loves cooking for people. Besides, if you don’t try it, then I can’t say no one I know hasn’t tried yet, because I’ll have to say everyone I know except Hiroki has tried it, and it won’t make such an awesome impression then, will it?”

Hiroki got a little confused by his incomprehensible twist of words, but nevertheless she was flattered by his earnestness. To eat Sakurai no okaasan’s food is indirectly familiarising with Sho’s family, and she flushed crimson at that thought. She didn’t even know why she was so joyous about that, either.

“I’d love to try it,” Hiroki smiled.

~